freebird

It is a HIT. The fours, the sixes, the claps, the eyeballs. It is a resounding success. Mr. Lalit Modi and team are laughing all the way to the banks. All doubts, speculation about the economic feasibility of the T20 league in India have been put to rest in the inaugural 2 matches. 2 hundreds in the first 2 matches. Hundreds in 50 balls! Scores of 240 in 20 overs!

What does this mean? One thing for sure – cricket has been changed forever.

It is the biggest thing to have happened since 1 day cricket. Just as the nay-sayers of that era became practitioners and devotees of the 50 over format, the critiques of T20 will be victims of the party in the coming 3 days months and years.

Millions are riding on it. And billions will be earned in the future! Foes who sledged yesterday are your locker – room mates of today! Your national team – mate of today is your arch enemy of tomorrow!

Ponting in the same team as Harbhajan is a possibility! What does this mean to traditional rivalries? Will the next time India visit Australia, bonhomie will be the staple much to everybody’s dislike? Will we suddenly regret by the dilution of the so called ‘sporting – hate’ of yore? Nah, not possible.

But one thing is for sure – there is a chance of understanding better each other’s cultural mores and differences. You can still dislike but it will be based on more understanding and less on assumptions.

Will this also lead to the end of the 1 day or 50 over format, with more and more games of the T20 kind? Too early but that day is not far when the 50 over format; its rhythm, pace, build-up, pacing, slogging etc will be lauded for possessing a purity that the T20, the populist upstart, has allegedly corrupted. Similar to the complaints our fathers had, against the 1 dayers.

The pure bludgeoning spirit of the T20 will please many. It is the season of 3 hours of highlights. Every ball promises a sixer, a four or a wicket. More bang for the same shrinking buck. More risks for the plebian spectator to walk the tight-rope and lose or win – at the same time feeling patriotic about the hometown or city. One’s national obsessions will now be shifted to the local and regional.

Another inevitable result will be the birth of more local talent. For so long at the mercy of talent scouts playing the card of regionalism, the uncelebrated, waiting - in – the - wings player will get a chance to display his skills. And become a hero.

Cricket has had a re-birth. Probably a badly needed one, and in time, struggling as it was after the match – fixing allegations some 10 years back. An entire generation of cricket fanatics had suddenly cut the umbilical cord. The adrenaline of the T20 format might me the rush that can bring them back.

Till cricket gets even more shorter.

I met up with friends as usual after work. We talk small talk. What do friends talk after a long friendship? There are long periods of silences sometimes. And nobody feels awkward. The tv sometimes plays in the background. Other times, we have music for company. There is also wine. Red preferably. Most of us also have quit smoking, which is commendable.

Anyways, this post is not about friends or friendship. It is what one of my friends said in the midst of all the talk. He said that he is increasingly disliking the country; its people. Some years back it would have elicited a vehement reaction from me. My father used to continuously criticize India when I was a child.

He liked Europe and its precision, order and professionalism. My streak of patriotism was largely reactionary – to oppose his constant dislike of India. If he was not so vocal, probably I would have contributed to the brain drain. That notion anyways is old. The world has shrunk. Have money, will get visa. But even in the early 90’s my world was not as open as it is now.

I think we were discussing honking; that perennial problem. How rude, insensitive, foolish and thoughtless. How can the educated, the chic, the literate, the illiterate all be so partial to the horn when all vital signs on a given stretch of road unilaterally mean 1 thing – immobility? Was I as conscious of this fact when I used to travel less? Yes. Will I be as cautious of it when I have my personal car with good insulation and all? Yes, because it hurts.

But horns cannot make us hate one’s country. That’s extreme, we all agreed.

Something was niggling? What?

Everywhere you look, people are spitting. Is spitting the reason?

People bumping against you? Problem of space probably, we argued.

People want to throw us out of Bombay?

Police corruption best exemplified by the Scarlette murder in Goa?

Missing organs from Scarlette’s body?

Censorship?

Bollywood copying films ad - nauseum and justifying it?

Indian politics?

Our propensity to dirty first and then destroy public property?

Perpetually stupid Pop music that talks only of love?

Our obsession with castes?

Our obsession with color?

Our suspicion of a person who doesn’t speak the same language?

Who doesn’t wear the same kind of dress?

Police abusing common folk?

Our pride in our languages, regions, customs, traditions but not in common decency?

Our obeisance to dynasties?

Lack of idols?

Do people of 30+ have idols? They have stupid. They have.

Do these things matter? Should we be blind and move on. Happy at double digit growth and T20 matches and Bollywood at Madame Tussauds and burgeoning Television and celebrity gossip?

Has age finally caught up with us? Are we old now, out of sync with the young India? What does the young India want? What did we as youngster’s want? Cricket and more of cricket.

We also wanted The Doors. We wanted a repeat of Woodstock. We wanted the hippy to be back. We wanted Nirvana and grunge.

Now we listen to electronica and minimal. We dance to club numbers (in private though). That’s how things change and we don’t even know. We want perpetual euphoria and no sadness. We want victory at all costs.

Victory at all costs.

Jump the lane, the line, the queue, push, trip but move on.

Yes, this is what the new country wants. The new country doesn’t want the old country. The old country of cows and power-cuts. The new doesn’t want the slow to hamper their rush. The city doesn’t want the town and the town doesn’t want the village. The village hates itself. It moves to the city and the city hates the bumpkin. The slow creature from the dust-bowl. And the slow creature learns to honk, to push, to trip.

Still they will not like each other. Both know what they have lost and can’t reclaim unlike the sea or river. Both can’t go back. And they move on. They have to join the nation in motion. Or they will be lost, forgotten and trampled.

And I will become a hateful poor aristocrat. Full circle. Everybody hates the other.

India is a Molotov cocktail.

I read in school history books about the 4 main castes and the other castes and sub-castes. The 16 (now 20) official languages and the 2000 other un-recognized ones. India was, as Mr. Basham described ‘The Wonder that was India’. I grew up in Jamshedpur. It is a cosmopolitan city. My earliest memory of growing up was the scary 1979 riots. Smoke all over the city, curfew and armed gangsters roaming the streets. There was no sikh persecution though when Indira Gandhi died in 1984, although people were scared. Binny, a friend cut his hair, to be on the safe side.

Then came 1989. Reservations. A dreaded word. Growing up, the first time I realized its impact and importance was during the implementation of the Mandal Commission Report by then Prime Minister V.P. Singh, and the consequent agitation. Rajiv Goswami became an overnight hero.

I was in school then. My response to it was conditioned by the responses that surrounded me. I come from what people derogatorily call the ‘Brahman’ community.

Yes, my thread ceremony is done, although I don’t carry it on my body. Anyways, I didn’t know the intricacies of the agitation. All I could gather was that lesser opportunities will be available to the more affluent. More opportunities for the historically disadvantaged. I was also made to feel threatened by the entire movement.

People told me about the inherent politics of it all. All politics was corrupt and therefore this too. How have things changed since those violent days of 1989. There should be equality people said. How can you have qualified work force when people with suspect skills are okayed because of their caste affiliations or economic disadvantages?

I went to college, Delhi University and met both the groups; professors who supported the implementation and people opposed it. I had by then, no problem with the issue of reservation. Why? Because I thought I could get a job because I was skilled. In what, I, didn’t know, but I was sure that I could fend for myself.

1989 and 2008 – 20 years. India is a different place. Is it different for all of us or only for a minority? I would go with ‘minority’. The rich, the affluent, the successful and privileged are at a natural advantage. Other’s are in misery.

Tribal’s are being attacked. Their land is being forcibly snatched in the name of development. States that don’t want SEZ’s are being forced by the Center to say yes. Regional parties like MNS want 80% of reservations to people who have Maharashtra domicile. Farmers are being forced to adopt genetic crops and the rate of farmer’s suicides in India is alarming. The divide between the northern and southern states is increasing. More crimes are being committed against women than ever before. The female to male ratio is plummeting especially in the richer states.

There has been the assertion of Dalit rights. Other castes and sub-castes also waste no time vocalizing their status – so that they can avail of economic and other benefits guaranteed by the constitution. More and more these are turning out to be violent. Atrocities on the weaker and minority sections also follow a pattern.

In the midst of all this the Supreme Court gave its historic April 10^th judgement.

“In a landmark judgement, the Supreme Court on Thursday upheld the legislation providing 27% quota for other backward castes (OBCs) in centrally funded educational institutions, including IITs and IIMs.”

The contentious ‘creamy layer’ the economically well-off from the OBC’s will be out of its ambit however. An additional rider in that these will be reviewed every 5 years.

It has obviously angered some and made many happy.

It is the perennial Indian problem. More candidates for the same number of Seats. There is a solution to this also. Increase the number of seats by the percentage of quota – 27% and if candidates from the reserved category fail to fill up the 27% then make the creamy layer from the OBC’s fill those seats rather than making them available to the general. Some bad blood will be created on this point.

This judgement also is not valid and binding on private, unaided institutions. That’s a huge percentage. How to make them fall under the purview is another big question mark?

In the midst of all of this India is facing a food crisis. In fact, the entire world, according to the IMF, although I suspect the IMF of being an American stooge.

So as usual we are at the cusp. We are an eager, ambitious, talented and corrupt nation trying to attain heights of glory. One section dreaming on empty stomachs; the other wasting on excess; the other comfortable in corruption; some blasé; some snatching; some impatience; some honest; some daring and some talented.

And as usual we are divided. Everybody is divisive.

The same emotions targeted by by BJP during the 1989 elections – the emaciated Hindu consciousness because of Mughal and Imperial oppression (largely Mughal because the English were too far away) is sometimes used by some of the supporters of reservations. There is danger of reverse discrimination and consequent recourse to the same emotions by these professional extremists who can violently polarize people along caste lines. This situation is completely avoidable.

What the policy makers should evolve is a consensus on the parameters that make somebody avail of these benefits. They can be from the forward or backward caste. It is time we accept that the rich does not automatically mean the ‘forward castes’. It is time to see that oppressors can belong to any caste. To not condone violence, discrimination and hate no matter where they are coming from.

There are only 2 castes in the entire world – the rich and the poor and the twain shall never meet.

It is to be noted these literal definitions…Backward, OBC etc although convenient, are still labels and stop people from making an identity outside of these labels. Psychologically I am still being identified by my caste. Always. India and Indians are still party to the caste system, no matter how good their intentions of eradicating them.

Or do they or we actually want to remove these barriers? Are they not convenient devices to separate people so that loyalty can be cultivated and nurtured by playing arbiter/mediator? After all Us and Them is handy for the I.

Kudos to Mr. Ram Sampath. He took the Roshans to court. Didn’t buckle down and accept a 2 lakh, then 25 lakh compensation and won 2 crore as damages, after the courts threatened them with a non-release of their film Krazzy 4.

Plagiarism and Bollywood have almost become synonymous. Everybody is blasé about it. Be it scripts, screenplays, shots everything is inspired by something else. Mahesh Bhatt, the high – priest of articulate, intelligent obfuscation sings paeans to the human instinct to copy and not give credit. ‘What is original?’ is the extremely rhetorical question that he asks at the drop of hat or an accusation, as the case might be.

Didn’t Ramesh Sippy lift some scenes from Once Upon a Time in the West, the Sergio Leone classic? As if that justifies anything. Well, didn’t Mody support rioters in Gujrat? Is that an argument?

So from the very intellectual to the completely commercial, everybody subscribes to the neighbourhood DVD newsletter for updates and inspiration. So did the Roshan’s. And who is this Sampath champak, they would have chuckled? The songs work. The sales are good and Copyright? What is Copyright?

It is the right to copy, many have concluded.

Will Krazzy 4 set any examples? Is the judgment a red letter day in the annals of copyright vis a vis Bollywood? Will producers, directors and composers will be more circumspect when lifting a tune, story or an entire film? That’s still an open question but a lesson it is definitely.

It should inspire more people to approach the courts when their hard creative work is appropriated without any consent or regard. In this battle between the big and the small, this time round David has won over Goliath.

Will this lead to more original ideas in content and form? Not yet. Don’t be silly. We will copy the tried and the tested and the beaten. Nothing original ever.

They said it was a No Honking Day. The papers and the tv that is. Amitabh Bachchan was pointing to a No Honking sticker. Enough to galvanize an entire sleeping population, which seems to be taking Viagra for sex, and then press horns after being rejected by their partners. Yes, it’s a serious issue here. Here means Bombay or Mumbai. Mumbai is very horny.

People in cars are safe. The better the car, the better the insulation, the better the proofing, the better the ears. My ears used to ring heavily some years back. That was also because of me being generally weak I think. Now that I am strong, my ears still ring. It is because of these damned horns. Period.

Long ago I read in the Reader’s Digest. I forget in which category but it said ‘the person riding in front of you is always on a sight-seeing expedition and the person behind you always feels as if in an F1 competition’. It’s true.

In no other aspect of life is lack or absence of foresight better revealed than on the killing roads of Mumbai. There is nothing called the Lane. There is nothing called the Stop Line. There is nothing known as the Bus Lane.

Everybody honks because the other is honking. It’s an atavistic instinct it seems. I will be thought of as weak if I don’t honk. They honk when they get free roads and honk of course when there is a red light. Of what use is the horn when the Red light is speaking to you. Why pressurize? But I am an old man at 30 closing my ears at different junctions.

Everyday I invariably tell the auto I am in to not honk. Only to be stared back in hatred. Drive, they ask back in silence. Drive in this mess you elite bastard with weak ears, they seem to ask me. I ask them if they don’t hate all this honking? They smile back. Occupational hazard…why take it so seriously! The world honks and so do I. So will you, once you take the wheel.

Do people even know the kind of peace that will prevail over this mass of land once the horns go quite, if not completely silent? The levels of stress that will evaporate. The reduction in medical bills. The easy, deep sleep at night. The lack of road rage. Wives and husbands calm, relaxed. No abuse. Probably you can hear the birds chirping from their nests.

Give it a try. Or have Indians, so used to reading the discontinuous words Horn O.K Please behind Tata vehicles, begun to interpret it as a phrase - the meaning and essence and purpose of all travel?

Everyday you feel like doing something bad to someone or something. It’s not just me for sure. I am quite convinced that everybody, each and every one of us, thinks of doing something drastic, earth-shatteringly anarchic. It could be the guy in a car or bike in front of you who thinks he is a rattle-snake. Or the noisy neighbour with no lift manner. Everyday various degrees of physical and mental harm are played out in our heads and then suppressed. For good. Otherwise the world would not suffer from a population problem.

For the past 2 months I want to take my revenge on 2 corporate entities. One that I have grown up with. The Tatas. I come from Jamshedpur. My father was born there so you can imagine the kind of loyalty I feel, no change it to felt. Buying Tata Sky and installing it was nothing like their now-famous commercial…Isko Laga Dala To Life Jhinaga Lala’ which when translated roughly means that ‘life is all a bed of roses once the bloody machine is plugged into our homes.

I almost broke the machine before it was installed. Various agencies that are disconnected to each other; welcome to off-shoring, outsourcing whatever, call you at odd hours and ask questions which you have already answered a hundred times to the various personnel. Sample this;

9 A.M - Caller - Madam/Sir, can we come at 11.

Receiver: you mean today.

Caller: yes

Receiver: I told your support staff that I leave at 9 and am back by 7 in the evening.

Caller: oh. Ok

Caller at 3 P.M (same day): can we come by 5?

Receiver: today?

Caller: of course!

Receiver: but I told

this story continued for some days. 1 saturday and sunday was spent waiting for these angels of professionalism to dismount and install but zilch.

Now the entire story is being repeated with Reliance who promise NETWORKS anywhere, even in Hell.

After failing to install a Broadnet connection because of greenery (YES - their technology doesn’t work if there are trees close to the connection; especially palm trees) and buildings (in Mumbai)!!I have gonefrom pillar to post but no refund has still seen the light of the day.

The extremely courteous emails acknowledging our problem have been followed up with inaction that would have made the late Prime Minister P.V.NArsimha Rao proud. I am at the edge. I would love to wring their necks and dry them on the many towers that they have built across the country to proliferate their networks.

What they are doing should be construed as harassment and crime.

Any and all help with regard to this would be highly appreciated.