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Its Fresh & Official – Marathi Manoos weaker than Women! November 16, 2009

Posted by astralwicks in Bollywood, Feminism, Humor, india, marathi manoos, MNS, Politics, Random, Shiv Sena, violence.
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# 1 on the ‘Soon 2 B Extinct Species’ – Marathi Manoos – championed by the aptly titled SS and its progeny – the MNS

Both these Sena’s have lots of time. And hate. They also possess lots of petrol, stones, hockey sticks etc. They take me back in time to the Bollywood of the glorious 80’s. But let me not digress.

This MM is frailer than your old grandmother, grandmother, orphan, handicapped who is abandoned, on the road, doesn’t have work or relatives or social support – who begs on the streets, at numerous crossings, tapping on your air-conditioned, frost-bitten rolled-up windows of your XYZ sedan.

The MM can die of hurt caused by talk of all kinds – ‘I like India’ and bingo they lose a tooth…er you lose it.

If you say ‘I love India’ then entire gene structures of the MM mutate. They vibrate at higher speeds than the 2 particles traveling in the ever – crashing Large Hadron Collider.

‘I like Mughlai’ say you? That could possibly be the last words out of your treacherous mouth.

‘I like a Nude’ and and…forget about it.

MM in fact has come as a savior to the entire women species of India. No longer are women considered the weaker of the species. MM has been categorized as the weakest of the lot. And it is reliably learnt that the SS and the MNS are proud wearers of his badge of honour. They in fact want this exalted status to be made permanent so that benefits can accrue to their scared lot.

Meanwhile Indian women groups are busy putting aside their differences and sending a delegation to Bombay to congratulate both the SS and the MNS for giving the final shove in the centuries old struggle.

They are however only worried about 1 thing – giving up the reserved seats on BEST buses to the Marathi Manoos.

MM can’t compete with the illiterate Bhaiyya coming from UP and Bihar. MM cannot get jobs also when competing with some of the literates coming out of the said backward provinces.

In additional news, which is already being confirmed as unadulterated speculation or rumor, the Big Boss evictee motor-mouth KRK has launched his next film called ‘Marathi Manhoos’ to whip up frenzy, polarize his audience and earn money right on the table. He says he has learnt the art of polarizing from the SS and MNS.


Shoe Prank Redemption April 7, 2009

Posted by astralwicks in india, India Elections 2009, justice, Opinion, People, Politics, protest, Random, violence.
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Jarnail Singh threw a shoe. Should he, a journalist, thought of his professional code first and foremost, repressed his anger and carried on reporting in a non-partisan manner? This is being ad nauseum on all the TV channels. Most ardently by Barkha and Arnab. Barkha, it seems, takes it as a personal affront – so zealously she guards her rarefied code. Arnab, artistically stuttering, goes with the flow of the arguments of his esteemed guests.

Jarnail Singh might not want to be a hero, but unwittingly, he has. 25 years and still counting and no justice. Enough for a reasonable man or a woman to feel angry, depressed, sad, waver, lose focus, feel helpless and uncared for, decide to take the one step that will define him perhaps for the rest of his life, stake everything on that one moment that one might later regret and yet steel oneself and do it because…he was just a man

Long live the protest of the individual soul.

A for Violence – The New Panacea January 29, 2009

Posted by astralwicks in Blogging, general, History, india, karnatak, Opinion, Politics, violence, Writing.
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Ma, Pa look at that brave man. He attacks and gets away. Only 40 criminal cases against him. So cool. So successful. He waves at crowds ma. He has followers pa. I want to be like him. Even the cops don’t touch him. Why are you not like him Pa. So brave. So rough and tough. I will become like him.

Things people do to stop pub / western / new culture. Gehlot, Yedyurappa and Muthalik all are custodians now. We have parents, teachers, principals, police and the State…all telling us what is right. UNILATERALLY.

If I don’t listen, then I should be prepared to be.

a) attacked

b) be molested

c) or be bannned

Meanwhile Shiv Sena,  MNS, Bajraj Dal belive that what is life without a bit of destruction of public and private property.

Have a problem. Have to protest. Want a solution.Then…

Break. Attack. Destroy. Set Fire.

Collateral damage. Who cares? Must have slipped on a banana peel, the idiot.

We have absolutely the best teachers & role models for the children of India.

Rage Takeaway October 21, 2008

Posted by astralwicks in india, Mumbai, Opinion, People, Personal, Random, Rants, violence, World.
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I will never name my son Raj. You will say what if I have a daughter? Same with her. No Raj for her too. The name has begun to symbolize all that I hate. All – powerful men and women of achievement who succumb to his blackmail. They have to call him ‘my elder brother’ so that his goons don’t break a screen or break my car. Their reasons are understandable – crores are riding on your films and better to buckle than be idealistic. Same with the regular types – let me earn my rupee for the day, we say and we move on.

Seriously this chap makes me pray for the worst. Every day, afternoon, evening and night Raj and his cronies sup with fear, vandalism, abuse, hate. Doesn’t matter who the person is or people are. If you happen to be a non-Maharashtrian and poor then you are done for properly. If you are a bit lucky, then also it doesn’t mean shit. You are sucking good old Maharashtra dry.

No. It is Mumbai stupid. Mumbai the rich Kamadhenu cow that the entire nation is using and abusing. Who gives a **&^# about 50 kms from Mumbai. And I being a proud Maratha have to stop this. Stop these uncouth north Indians from entering my pious land of slums. We who have fought the Mughals will face fellow Hindus too in this god ordained battle to restore all jobs, prosperity, apartments, the salt in the sea, the fishes in the sea, the autos and taxis to the Maharashtrians.

And why does the government not call his bluff? Simple. VOTES. They know that the electorate that is eligible to vote and is unemployed will flock to the MNS. So let us just make honest noises. Don’t want to be seen as being too friendly to the outsider. Make token gestures – arrest, produce in court, night at thana, few warnings and public consciousness being too bothered with everyday survival this nuisance will be relegated to the backburner.

The carrot and the stick – after all he is not a murderer. He doesn’t attack. Some over zealous chap whose father was sacked from his job in the late 70’s is venting his anger. But you don’t see that. Being a patriot of good old ‘M’ (the state’s name is too long) he is just concerned. Runs in his family. Similar to the old roaring uncle. The sun has changed spots. What will happen if the family becomes cultured and abandons violence? Who will pay us – respects…what else did you think? And what will happen to Hinduism? What will happen to us?

We need him and his goons. You see they come in handy. After all, all parties get violent. Violence is a fundamental right. A democracy works because it allows people to express their anger, angst for you intellectuals in a positive manner – on buses, on people, on public and private property.

You will understand his importance 20 years from now. How he saved Bombay sorry Mumbai. From pan chewing north Indians, from beef eating Muslims, from fish eating Bengalis, from roti lovers of Punjab…you see Mumbai is India’s New York. Did You know that they speak 103 languages in New York? The entire world is represented in the Big Apple. New York doesn’t need America or the world.

Similarly my friend…

Orissa’s Shame October 15, 2008

Posted by astralwicks in india, Opinion, orissa, People, Personal, Politics, Random, violence, World, Writing.
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It is 6 o clock in the evening. There are journalists outside the Chief Minister’s office + the regular posse of cops, bureaucrats, hangers on.

Secretary: sir, there have been more killings.

CM Naveen Patnaik: where?

Secretary: all over.

Naveen Patnaik: all over?

Secretary: yes sir.

Naveen Patnaik: you mean all over India or all over Orissa?

Secretary: Orissa sir.

Naveen Patnaik: ummm


Secretary: the center has also…

Naveen Patnaik: the CENTER?

Secretary: Delhi, New Delhi…they are worried.

Naveen Patnaik: so am I. So am I, but what to do? We are doing our best. Aren’t we?

Secretary: yes sir, of course sir.

Naveen Patnaik: but people of Orissa…they are very emotional. They are fighters too. Didn’t we fight Ashoka, the mighty? We made him realize the futility of war, didn’t we?

Secretary: yes sir, of course sir.

Naveen Patnaik: we are a peaceful state. Always was, is and will be. This is an aberation. Will go away.

Secretary: Sir, it’s been more than a month.

Naveen Patnaik: some things take time. You see…people love and people hate. People do good things and people do bad things. Everything is a phase. As the Buddha said ‘this too shall pass’.

Secretary: sir, what if they dismiss the government, impose the President’s rule?

Naveen Patnaik: they? Oh, your Center? No, no not so easy. Elections are around. What if there is more killing after they dismiss me? Will they take the blame? No.

Secretary: you have a point there sir.

Naveen Patnaik: stay calm Mr. Secretary. Nothing should ruffle us. Stay put is the Mantra. You know, when my father, the great Biju took the plane into Indonesia, there was death flying all around him,but he was calm, super-calm. I have got that gene from him. Nothing disturbs me. Did I cry when he died? No. Did I cry after the floods? Again No. Did I cry after the cyclone? No. Focus is very important. Leaders don’t cry. What will the people think? Weak he is, they will say, and abuse me. So, no wishy washy for me. NEVER


Secretary: so sir, what do we do?

Naveen Patnaik: nothing, stay put.

Secretary: the press. It’s waiting outside.

Naveen Patnaik: they’ll go. They have news to cover. We stay put.

So We Reap July 6, 2007

Posted by astralwicks in india, jesus, pakistan, peace, reap, sow, Uncategorized, violence, war.
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‘As we sow, so we reap’ is an old saying. So old that we have forgotten about it. We hear it from old people and then forget. We are skeptical of it. Is it really true? We do good and good happens back to us? Is that so? 21st century doesn’t believe in such naïve concepts.

But people in Pakistan could have a new different take on the old as jesus saying. For long secure in the knowledge that home grown militancy won’t bite the hand that feeds it the Lal Masjid incident has woken them up? Has it? I am not sure. It gave guilty pleasure to a lot of people, Indians included to see the Pakistan Army being pushed to the extreme to ward off the resistance from inside the mosque. These guys used to fight the neighbour and now…something is wrong somewhere.

It has happened in the past and it will happen in the future. It’s quite simple actually.

What is the educated, intelligent, enlightened polity of Pakistan doing about the continuing lack of democracy in their country? Is it happy that they are ruled by despots all the time? Is it happy that its good to have these tyrants around – at least they have the guts and the guns to set history right. Take on the Indians across the border, infiltrate into their country, give refuge to people in their country who have committed serious crime in India. Is that what makes them tolerate these dictators?

And it is not just them in fact. Even the flagbearers of the war on terror the US of A is proud to have the Pakistan establishment lead the proceedings. They are frontline allies to restore the order of civil law and humane reason. What can one say?

Gandhi had once abandoned an all India movement when Indian protesters burnt and killed 20 old British soldiers during the non-coperation movement in 1919. The entire country was upset. An all India agitation on the verge of creating unbearable pressure that could have prompted the Britishers to quit the country died after Gandhi’s announcement. India got independence some 27 years later. Indians still hold many a grudge against the old man.

He said and I am only paraphrasing that when the root itself is poisoned imagine the tree and its fruits. Violence begets more violence. You can win the battle using violence, but then what?. You cannot give birth to peace using violence. As you sow so you reap he said in his own way. So let’s stop this protest, agitation, no matter how close we are to independence because it has got violent and corrupt and senseless, with anger driving it to further anger and destruction. Let’s stop he urged and he got killed.

And India and Pakistan moved on.

We have fought each other in one way or the other. And I don’t see how its going to end. I guess it’s time we remember as we sow so we reap.