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Its Fresh & Official – Marathi Manoos weaker than Women! November 16, 2009

Posted by astralwicks in Bollywood, Feminism, Humor, india, marathi manoos, MNS, Politics, Random, Shiv Sena, violence.
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# 1 on the ‘Soon 2 B Extinct Species’ – Marathi Manoos – championed by the aptly titled SS and its progeny – the MNS

Both these Sena’s have lots of time. And hate. They also possess lots of petrol, stones, hockey sticks etc. They take me back in time to the Bollywood of the glorious 80’s. But let me not digress.

This MM is frailer than your old grandmother, grandmother, orphan, handicapped who is abandoned, on the road, doesn’t have work or relatives or social support – who begs on the streets, at numerous crossings, tapping on your air-conditioned, frost-bitten rolled-up windows of your XYZ sedan.

The MM can die of hurt caused by talk of all kinds – ‘I like India’ and bingo they lose a tooth…er you lose it.

If you say ‘I love India’ then entire gene structures of the MM mutate. They vibrate at higher speeds than the 2 particles traveling in the ever – crashing Large Hadron Collider.

‘I like Mughlai’ say you? That could possibly be the last words out of your treacherous mouth.

‘I like a Nude’ and and…forget about it.

MM in fact has come as a savior to the entire women species of India. No longer are women considered the weaker of the species. MM has been categorized as the weakest of the lot. And it is reliably learnt that the SS and the MNS are proud wearers of his badge of honour. They in fact want this exalted status to be made permanent so that benefits can accrue to their scared lot.

Meanwhile Indian women groups are busy putting aside their differences and sending a delegation to Bombay to congratulate both the SS and the MNS for giving the final shove in the centuries old struggle.

They are however only worried about 1 thing – giving up the reserved seats on BEST buses to the Marathi Manoos.

MM can’t compete with the illiterate Bhaiyya coming from UP and Bihar. MM cannot get jobs also when competing with some of the literates coming out of the said backward provinces.

In additional news, which is already being confirmed as unadulterated speculation or rumor, the Big Boss evictee motor-mouth KRK has launched his next film called ‘Marathi Manhoos’ to whip up frenzy, polarize his audience and earn money right on the table. He says he has learnt the art of polarizing from the SS and MNS.


Equals In Hate February 14, 2008

Posted by astralwicks in Blogging, Culture, india, Personal, Politics, Random, Thoughts, Urban, Writing.
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Raj and Abu were arrested and then released. Panic set in Mumbai. People decamped from offices. They fear that they will be attacked by supporters of these gentlemen of violence. It doesn’t matter that I am a South Indian from Jharkhand. I can speak decent Hindi and therefore can be attacked. Forget about my roots. The mob is in a mood and wants to attack. End of story.

 Post the Big B utterances, the attacks on taximen and vendors etc, the locals vs outside discourse has traveled quite a distance. Many a political pundit has discussed it threadbare, interpreted the nuances of chaos. Delhi’s Lt Governor has also contributed his bit in the round table.

 Some of the articles are almost apologies for the MNS. They say that Raj action’s are nothing but an articulation of a long-festering desire to teach the North Indian a lesson. A north Indian who, as the Lt Governor has said, likes to break the law and take pride in it. A north Indian is not as law abiding as a south Indian.

 I am from Jamshedpur. The quaint, small town was originally in Bihar. When I went to study at Hindu college in Delhi, I was not a resident. I didn’t stay in the hostel. I had to look for houses as paying guests etc. The minute Bihar escaped my lips, the demeanor of the landlord changed. It was a NO. Some were either careless or daring or unbiased or badly needed the money. Or they had the wisdom to realize that students will always be students, a bit confused, disorderly but eventually manageable. Thanks to them, I am earning today.

 The north is upset at the assault. So is the entire country. The anger on the street has found a fount. Behave or else…go back.

 Some things have to be kept in mind before Raj T becomes the mascot for increasing civic consciousness. North Indians spit after eating paan and guthka. So do most of the Gujrati traders. North Indians molest girls. So do Maharashtrians. We all know what happened on the New Year night. North Indians revel in breaking the law. All of India does that. Most of our governments do. West Bengal under the Marxists of Budhadeb is the current poster boy. Te culprit’s riots in Mumbai, Godhra and other parts of India are known, but they roam free. Law is broken every day.

 Constitutional rights are broken every day. In the year 2000 when I went to open my bank account in SBI, the person there asked me why people come to Mumbai at all? I threatened him with a police complaint. Marathis in Mumbai can break a law, flaunt their language and get away. For the same crime, a non-resident has to face more and dish out more.

 Indians have to face up to some facts. We might be a young, vibrant, growing nation and economy. But we are also blind nation. We do not accept the ills that plague the nation. Everything is old, ancient, blessed by the Gods. We who advertise for a fair, white, tall, well-proportioned, Convent educated boy or girl feign hurt when people accuse us of having double standards. Let’s accept that we are bigoted. That we have a long and tiresome journey ahead. That we are partisan and biased.

 In one way what Raj’s actions have revealed is the fact that an illusion is broken. Muslims should be happy in India. Hindus are not preferred or favoured in India. It doesn’t matter if you are a Hindu or rich. Bachchan is both and yet became the target. So there is some hope left. We hate everybody equally.



Long Live Hindi Cinema February 6, 2008

Posted by astralwicks in Blogging, Bollywood, Cinema, Culture, Entertainment, Films, india, Political, Writing.
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In the 80’s this was how a regular Hindi film played itself out.

 Hero has a family…mother, father, sister.

 They live in Virpur, Shantinagar, Rampur etc.

 They are under the omnipotent feudal lord.

 They common villagers till the land, somehow scrape lunch and dinner and constantly have to protect their ‘izzat’, ‘jaan’ and ‘zameen’; that is self-respect, life and land, in that order. Self-respect is a tame word, in plain words they had to constantly be aware lest somebody owning allegiance to the feudal overlord rapes them.

 Eventually they were raped. The Hero, till the rape, an innocent man with ideals, goes mad with rage. His father by now had also been bumped off, the cattle killed and the land confiscated.

 The Hero, using all his skills of detection, finally manages to locate the culprit…the Villain of the piece is having a ball.

 He is surrounded by girls on all sides who are dancing.

 There is song, dance and wine all around.

 And the Villain is in very august company…he is with the Police Commissioner.

 This cliché was forgotten by me. I thought I had moved on. Assumed that times have changed. That these scenarios happen only in the Bandlands of UP and Bihar and now that I am in Mumbai, memory was no longer servile to itself.

 But all that changed after the MNS supporters attacked north Indians. As the city was burning, well, at least, simmering, and there was fear all around, Raj Thackeray was seen chilling with the Police Commissioner, at his daughter’s wedding.

 Long live Hindi cinema.





I Proud of Nothing February 4, 2008

Posted by astralwicks in Blogging, Culture, india, Maharashtra, Mumbai, Politics, Random, Writing.
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I can stay in Mumbai. I have escaped the Diktat by a whisper…I am from Jharkhand, the East of India. But you never know, they might just wake up one day and have the same hatred towards East Indians and one fine day to the newborn in the womb. Who knows, the way things are going anything is an eventuality.

 The MNS says North Indian’s go back.

Their forefathers had said South Indians go back.

Their predecessors will say Indian’s go back.

 Why are we surprised when we persecute people on the basis of caste, color, education, money, religion, belief, sex, age, strength?

 Behave as Hindus

Behave as Mahasrashtrians.

How does a Maharashtrian behave?

 Do they walk on their heads?

Do they speak Esperanto?

Do they drink the air and eat the soil to provide nutrition to their spirit, body and soul?

 What do they do that is so different from me and you who are Indians? What is the smell, texture, weight of their souls and other tangible and etceteras that make the Marathimanoos something that we should all aspire to or strive to become, because we are told to? Otherwise we shall be beaten, threatened of extermination and one day…poof.

 Fine country we live in. Fine leaders we have. Fine followers that follow this fascist called…I don’t even want to take his name. And if this is what Maharashtra is supposed to mean and represent, then I will choose to die rather than become a Maharashtrian.